Hole-in-One Experience to be Made Available for Long-Suffering Golfers


Montague, FL - Golfers who have spent decades waiting for their first hole-in-one may no longer have to make one.

Under a new program being offered by the GSTPA, golfers who have played for at least 20 years without an ace can purchase a complete hole-in-one package recognizing their lifetime contribution to the game.

Participants will not be required to hit a shot or, for that matter, visit a golf course.

The GSTPA handles everything.

“We've removed the most troublesome component of making a hole-in-one,” said Patrick Kelly, GSTPA Director of Player Achievement. “Playing golf.”

Each package is designed to provide the complete hole-in-one experience, including selection of a participating course and hole, an official scorecard, commemorative ball and two independent witnesses who will confirm the achievement if questioned.

Participants are also provided with a detailed account of the shot, including yardage, club selection, ball flight and reaction upon discovering the ball in the cup.

“We want it to feel authentic,” Kelly emphasized. “More importantly, we want it to sound authentic.”

A premium package includes photographs beside the flagstick and a fully staged clubhouse celebration attended by friends, fellow golfers and others hired to appear genuinely surprised.

The GSTPA will also maintain permanent records of each hole-in-one and provide ongoing witness verification should questions arise years later

Officials said the program was developed in response to growing concern about golfers attempting to arrange their own hole-in-ones without professional assistance.

“Some of these people are improvising,” warned Kelly. “That's when mistakes get made.”

The Association stressed that the program is intended only for golfers who have demonstrated a prolonged inability to make a hole-in-one through conventional means.

“This isn't something you can just buy,” Kelly said. “You have to earn the right to buy it.”

Proceeds will help offset rising costs associated with the Annual GSTPA Leadership Retreat.

Note: Buying a round for family, friends and fellow club members not included.

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These materials reflect field notes, behavioral observations, and informal conclusions derived from prolonged exposure to golfers and golf culture. Views expressed by contributors are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official position of the GSTPA, the GSTPA Tour, or Sham Golf Media LLC.


Grand Sham Tournament Players Association 
Officially unrecognized since 1987.

The Grand Sham Tournament Players Association (GSTPA) is an unaccredited organization. Content published on this site is satirical and intended as commentary on golf, its structures, and the lived experience of those who continue to play it.

The GSTPA does not evaluate performance. It records outcomes.