Over-Postulated Handicap Syndrome

Eddie Edwards
Contributing Editor, Sham Illustrated

Eddie Edwards has followed the GSTPA Tour for nearly four decades. His work documents the effect of prolonged exposure to tournament play on participants and observers.

 

If you've ever been to Westwood Golf Club’s grillroom on a Saturday night after the Nasters Tournament, you've undoubtedly seen them.

They sit alone, eyes glazed over, quietly staring off into space like a jilted lover.

They are the victims of OPHS, Over-Postulated Handicap Syndrome, a self-inflicted malady prevalent on the GSTPA Tour.

Golfers inflicted with OPHS suffer from the delusion that they will be able to play to their handicaps while competing in the tour's biggest events — a fact not lost on some of the grizzled old veterans.

The disorder has become increasingly widespread, especially among those who participate in practice rounds in the weeks leading up to the Sham tournaments.

This year, for instance, I've noticed some of the veterans organizing practice rounds at Westwood that are essentially recreational.

Nearly every short putt is conceded. Hit one out-of-bounds and you are categorically offered a mulligan. Land your ball in a divot and you are allowed to roll it over. Conversation is almost always polite and casual.

As a result, some of the players have been posting practice round scores ten strokes lower than their GSTPA scoring averages—a classic harbinger of the dreaded OPHS.

The truth, of course, is that there is nothing recreational about Westwood on the day of the Nasters Tournament.

The only thing that is conceded on Nasters Saturday is the entry fee.

If you are lucky enough to cozy one up inside the leather you will be asked to mark it.

There will be no mulligans and the conversation will no longer be casual—or even polite.

In fact, when you step up to the 7th tee, and take your first intimidating look at Mayhem Corner, someone in the group will invariably smart off about not duck-hooking one into the water.

And when the tournament is over, that 85-stroke scoring average you have been bragging about during practice rounds has suddenly ballooned to a 105.

Another casualty of OPHS.

Don't be surprised to get a call from one of the old-timers inviting you to join him in a practice round at Westwood. The players on this tour have become so jaded from missing cuts over the years that they'll do almost anything to get an advantage.

They'll offer to pay your green fees and load your bag into the golf cart. They'll buy you a hot dog and a couple of beers. They'll tell you that your swing is looking great and that your putting stroke is silky smooth hoping that any moment, you will become infected with OPHS.

The grillroom may get a little crowded on Saturday night after the Nasters Tournament.