Building Trios

• The GSTPA is committed to preserving the traditions of golf: honesty, integrity, and improving your lie when nobody is looking.
• Every GSTPA tournament provides players with a scorecard, a rules sheet, and several opportunities to disregard both.
• Golf teaches patience, perseverance, and an astonishing number of new ways to use the word “fuck.”
• The average golfer carries fourteen clubs, six golf balls, and one swing thought that has already ruined his afternoon.
• Before every round, GSTPA players are encouraged to stretch, hydrate, and significantly lower their expectations.
• The GSTPA recognizes three categories of golf shots: good shots, bad shots, and shots you insist were caused by the wind.
• Members are expected to observe proper golf etiquette: repair ball marks, rake bunkers, and wait until their opponent is out of earshot before questioning his handicap.
• The modern golfer has access to launch monitors, GPS technology, and absolutely no plausible explanation for shooting 97.
• GSTPA research has identified three stages of putting: reading the putt, making the stroke, and explaining why it didn't break.
• The Association's mission is to document golf, preserve its traditions, and determine who moved Gary's ball.