Former GSTPA Champion Paul Gauer claims he was abducted by extraterrestrials Tuesday night while practicing alone for the upcoming Shitish Open at Timberline Golf Club.

According to Gauer, he had been hitting balls on the driving range shortly after sunset when he observed what he described as “an intense white light” descending over the practice area.

“The next thing I remember, I woke up naked in the middle of the night lying on the 18th fairway,” Gauer said. “I couldn’t figure out what had happened to me.”

Under hypnosis administered several days later, Gauer said he recalled being transported aboard what he described as a massive spacecraft where he was attached to a series of “strange devices” and instructed to hit golf balls while extraterrestrials observed him for several hours.

“They kept asking questions about the GSTPA Tour, especially about the players,” Gauer said. “One of them asked if I knew Nasters Champion Randy Tolbert and when I said I did they all started yelling, ‘I am Randy Tolbert. I am Randy Tolbert.’”

Medical personnel later reported that Gauer was in generally good health following the incident. However, Gauer stated that in the days immediately following the alleged abduction he developed what he described as “a severe case of the yips, chili-dips, shanks, hooks, and the runs.”

Reaction across the Tour was immediate and divided.

While several players dismissed Gauer’s account as delusional, others expressed growing concern regarding the possibility of extraterrestrial contact.

Administrative staff at GSTPA World Headquarters reported receiving hundreds of calls from players and family members concerned about the possibility of being taken away in spaceships and subjected to probing. 

Tour Commissioner Keith Cartwright called the incident “a tragic occurrence” and stated that the GSTPA remained “committed to the security and emotional well-being of our players.”

Cartwright confirmed that the Association had opened discussions with Altered States Insurance Company and had applied for a group policy that would cover the Tour and its members. 

Altered States Insurance Company is widely regarded as the world’s leading underwriter of alien abduction insurance and was the first provider to offer group coverage policies.